Micromatic Clog-Pruf

The Clog-Pruf is the "Micromatic in the middle", and marked an apparent comb design departure, but a very similar comb appeared on goofy thick-handled razors in the 20s under the Treet brand, so it really wasn't new at all. What is for sure, The CP is a 'looker' and the build quality is first rate.

OK, what about the shave? I used a 'fresh' Treet blade and got a very nice shave in 4 passes with total security and great feedback. You don't need to be 'careful' like you do with the OCMM - at all - which is kind of a departure - WTF were they thinking?

Conclusion: Looks great, shaves good, certainly no better than the 1912s and you can only use 'modern' punched/notched blades with no DE blade workaround like you can do with a 1912. 

40s style Super Speed

I've always believed that the various Micromatics were a downgrade from earlier models of SE razors. The OCMM is what I would call 'unnecesarily harsh', the final 'Flying Wing/Bullet-tip' is pretty close to being universally considered to be sucky, but there is a LOT of love out there for the Micromatic Clog-Pruf. I wanted to try a CP, but didn't want to spend any money, so I put an offer to trade an OCMM for a CP on the B&B. That very day, a kind member had one in the mail to me, no trade, AND he said he was including a "surprise".

That surprise turned out to be a 40's style Super Speed, and a couple packs of Gillette Bleue Extra blades. The cognoscenti seem to agree that the 40s SS kicks ass, but I've heard that before. It occurred to me that this guy threw in this razor for a reason... According to the handy Gillette date code on the back of the head it is from the 1st quarter of 1951, so it's 60 years old! The decline in build quality, plating thickness, etc., is noticeable between this 1951, granpa's 1959 Flare-tip, and the 1968 Slim that I've tried. I used the 51 before the CP, with one of those nice oily Russian blades, and DAMN - if you are going to go the Super Speed route, and there is a lot going for them as a group, the 40s style is the way to go, may as well have the best! Absolutely superb and effortless shave with ZERO irritation/nicks/weepers. I used it again to finish a most unsatisfying GEM Featherweight shave this morning, and this is fast becoming one of my favorite DEs. The Gillette TTO has never been equalled for quality, and there is something to be said for being able to just drop in a blade and go! The head being what it is, there is sadly little audible or tactile feedback. To me that's the only negative, and the quality of the shave speaks for itself.

The best news of all? They made SHITLOADS of them and they can readily be found in great shape for little money (if not for free) - they are easy to spot even in the shittiest Ebay phone pix, so you have a better than decent chance of getting real lucky.

Ultimate aggression

Ha, it was only a matter of time. I've been saying for months that the 'safety bars' on the Yuma are purely decorative. Well, I aim to prove it. I took some tin snips and clipped off the bars, nothing to it. It's on deck and ready for the Monday shave.

Ha ha ha! I've got a mole on my face between the nose and the left eye. It produces hairs that would make a Chinaman proud! So I moistened it with some spit and damn! I can drive this thing! You can see, hear and feel what the blade is doing, so it's not really a big deal...
TBC

GEM Featherweight - FUGLY!

OK, it's pretty clear how GEM lost the razor supremacy battle - would you look at this thing? FUGLY! It looks like a fucking toy. The styling reminds me of Jim Morrison's quip about the Space Needle - "A 1920s vision of 20 years into the future" - something like that.

What were they thinking with the handle? There is no way it will ever look anything other than disgusting! Lots of people praise this head design, which is the same as the "Heavy Flat Top" or "G-Bar" but at least that model doesn't look like total SHIT. I tried it with a Treet that I stropped the livin' hell out of. Suspicions confirmed - I did 2 passes and was still so 'scritchy' that I finished with the '40s SS. The Featherweight is a good choice IF:

1. you have no aesthetic sense
2. you don't care about a face-turbation shave
3. you are a candyass who is afraid of getting cut - no danger here
4. you are even a bigger cheapskate than me - somebody will gladly give you one, maybe even me!

Schick Type G injector

The other reason for picking up that crusty lot was to try one of these. Hey, I'm all about exploring the options out there! The type G was produced from 1946 to 1955 and this one cleaned up pretty well. Picked up a pack of blades at Freddy's (they still sell them) so I'll give it a try tomorrow. Gotta say it's a looker, and there are some real partisans of the injectors, sort of the '3rd party' of the safety razor world - I aim to find out.

SHAVE #1:
1st weirdness - the blades are slick with what appears to be gun/sewing machine oil...

WTG: good audible and tactile feedback which I appreciate. What I didn't appreciate is that in terms of hair removal, any number of razors do more on a WTG. As an aside - there is no way to miscalculate the angle on the Schick - if it's wrong, it simply doesn't cut at all.

XTG> I found myself using PRESSURE (!) and that pass was a lot better but still not ready for ATG.

XTG< got to the point where I could do the ATG

ATG: This is where the Schick really shines - the compact idiot-proof head (no bigger than a twin blade cart) design is pretty remarkable - you can do ATG blade buffing with pressure and all it cuts is hair. By the end, not a speck of blood to be seen.

All in all, I would have to rate the Schick as "very good", if slow. Will I keep it in the rotation? No, there are too many 'issues'. Firstly, I don't want a razor to be this safe, I want that thing to CUT. If you want to get all Mantic Method and do 5-6 passes you will probably love the Schick though, as it is VERY easy on the skin.

The other major minus is the blades. There are only a couple of available choices currently manufactured, and while they are quite a bit cheaper than any 'system' garbage, $5 for seven is not exactly cheap. In the interest of science I'll use it until the blade dulls. Schickies claim the blades are good for 7 shaves, so we'll see.

Gillette "Slim" Adjustable

So I picked up a rather crusty lot on Ebay and one of the razors in it was one of the vaunted "Slim" adjustables from 1968 which was the tail end of the production run. The Slim is also the last Gillette to be made entirely of metal. There are serious 'fanboys' of these things on the boards, and they sell for ridiculous prices normally, so I basically jumped at the chance to try one for little dough. Initial impressions? Construction is solid, but the quality of the materials is noticeably less than my Super Speed that is only 9 years older. It cleaned up well, as you can see. My 'fans' know that I'm into 'aggression' - the more blade the better, so I'm coming at the whole idea of an adjustable with a healthy dose of scepticism. Does it really have a purpose, or is it only as I suspected, a clever marketing gimmick? What are the 9 settings 'for'? Let's explore.

OK, I tried it out yesterday, with a fresh Derby. Started the WTG pass at "5" and it was kind of a joke - hardly any 'bite' at all so I immediately went to "7". 7 was OK, but no more aggro than a Super Speed. So I just opened the fucker up to "9". 9 was good and worked well. I then stirred up a minor shitstorm on B&B by saying I was underwhelmed and couldn't imagine using the Slim on anything other than "9". Some of the replies were pretty vehement! Some of the 'cooler heads' explained to me the 'why' - start high and then dial down on subsequent passes. Supposedly it increases the 'safety' as you get down to skin level. Gotta say I'm intrigued by this concept, although the opposite can be argued that too mild can mean you have to hit certain spots over and over which leads to irritation...

Shave#2: WTG at 9, XTG at 7 and ATG at 5. As predicted, at 5 there were some neck spots that required a lot of touchups. The pleasant surprise was on the upper lip where the different settings worked great and resulted in super smoothness. Basically I'm still on the fence. A cheapo razor like a LORD or YUMA works just as well, and faster in the right hands. For example, the Yuma does more on the upper lip XTG than the Slim does ATG on 5. On the third, mostly ATG pass with the Yuma I just do another XTG on the upper lip because you see, that's all it needs. 2 shaves is probably not fair before passing judgement on the Gillette, but I still believe that the outrageous prices these things fetch aren't really justified. Also, at least for me, I found changing the settings during the shave to be kind of a PITA, but hey YMMV. The best 'adjustability' IMO comes from just knowing how to drive the razor - when/where to use your muscles to subtly change the blade angle and pressure. If you can do that you don't need any dumbing down. It has been said that the most adjustable razor of all is the straight. The 'adjustability' of a straight is limited only by your level of training and physical coordination. Bring it on, haters!

TBC

Finally found the razor that scares me!

So I ordered some Yumas and brushes for my homies and figured I'd throw one of these in the mix. Well it was bound to happen - I managed to find a razor that I am actually afraid to use! It's a 'straight' that takes 1/2 DE blades, made in Turkey. Just getting a blade in it is pretty dangerous, big injury potential before it even gets anywhere near your face! Bestshave has a link to an instructional vid:

How to load a blade

No, it's really NOT quite as simple as that... It's in there good and tight and mostly even, but having that much exposure on a DE blade is pretty terrifying - just imagine what those blade corners could do - a whole new dimension of "gotcha". I'll get around to trying it, but today I'm more tempted by 'safer' options.

The Cranford

These pix are not of my razor unfortunately, but you get an idea of the quality from this restored example.

S. Droeshcher was a wholesaler of various branded Solingen blades which suffered from the anti-Boche hysteria of WWI and the postwar years and opened the Cranford Razor Works which was active for just a few years 1920-1924. Aficionados concur that razors of US steel are as good as anything. I got this razor as a lot with another American straight (Union Cutlery which became Ka-Bar) and I have to say I like the edges they can hold. The only problem is the damned learning curve - if you 'learned' with a pivoting head cart or disposable like I did, you will be a babe in the woods when it comes to wielding a straight. As they say, 'YMMV' but I find the 9/16 size of The Cranford to be about perfect. On a good day I can do a full WTG and a partial XTG. I've experimented with various grips to do ATG but damn! Compared to the utter abandon I have using any kind of safety razor, learing to 'drive' a straight is a BITCH!

I'm one of the freaks who actually enjoys the whole honing/stropping process, getting to a shave ready edge, but I have to date only had one straight shave where I didn't need to use a 'safety' to finish. Hopefully that will change, because let's face it - what could be manlier? A soup can lid? A piece of glass?

Youtube

If you decide to get into shaving like a man, you will find Youtube to be an invaluable resource - use it. You will learn and what to do (and what not to do) through the magic of the 21st century version of oral tradition. HIGHLY RECOMMENDED!

Keepin' it real

One thing you can say about shaving with the marketed brands is that it keeps it real simple, there actually aren't a hell of a lot of choices if you're trying to 'be current'.

There are more dangers than just bleeding when you shave like a MAN. There are so many choices that you can easily spend a TON of money on the various ADs (Acquisition Disorders). Do you know how many kinds of cool/effective razors there are out there? Brushes? Soaps/Creams? Blades? After shaves?

How about the various combinations and permutations thereof?

The good news is that you can indeed keep it real, save money, AND have the closest/best/irritation-free DAILY shaves of your LIFE.

Take Razors: You can spend ridiculous coin on some stupid-assed vintage Gillette 'Fatboy', or just get a Yuma and learn how to drive it. Turn that fucking Fatboy up to 11 and it will not cut closer than a Yuma. Another good DE choice for beginners and experts alike if you can't handle a scabby used razor is the LORD L6, which features 'load-and-go' tolerances for about $10 delivered if you order directly from the vendor on B&B instead of his Ebay store - he will include a variety of blades to get you started. Another ridiculously cheap but wickedly effective razor that is an absolute pleasure to drive would be a 1912, which unlike a Yuma will easily outlast you and your children. Really, really nice minty ones can be easily found for under $15.

Blades: Again, you can spend stupid money and only use Feathers once in your Fatboy, but I have found that really ANY blade works in a Yuma or Lord, some just last longer than others - Any of the Egyptian stainless blades are a great choice, and they feature recyclable/compostable packaging. If you go the 1912 Gem route I think your best blade choice is one of the thick-spined 'vintage' blades - that REALLY takes care of the whole 'carbon footprint' thing. Of course you will need additional gear but you can indeed make your own effective strops...

Brushes: Someday when I strike it rich maybe I'll go for a badger of some kind, but until then I am more than satisfied with a $2.50 Turkish horsehair brush that holds 4+ passes of lather and feels great on the face.

Soaps: You can spend upwards of $60 for some stupid-assed soap in a bowl that isn't going to work any better than a stick of Arko. AND you need to find room to keep it. The 'footprint' of an Arko stick is as miniscule as the price. Besides, face-lathering obviates the need for any additional 'prep'. Better all the way around. At the risk of coming across as a shill for Arko, as a product it really is quasi perfect. Abundant, slick and nourishing lather - and I for one appreciate that there is practically no 'packaging' to end up in the bin. If you can't handle the smell, all I can say is that you have 'issues'. Can you handle the price? The performance?

After-Shave: Here again, you have an opportunity to drop major coin. All you really need is alum and/or witch hazel and maybe a tiny bit of some EV coconut oil from the kitchen if there is a 'dry skin' issue. I have oily skin - all I use is alum and almost never even rise it off. Shit works great and is practically free.

WTF!?!

WTF!?!

This gizmo for heating and dispensing your can of chemical/aerosol goo is one of the dumber uses for 100 USD that I've seen in a while. Are you fucking kidding? Whatever happened to just immersing your can of goo in the sink? What a pantload!!! What kind of a stupid-assed tool do you need to be to buy and use one these? I await your comments.

The prescience of the Onion

From 2004, the Onion calls bullshit on 5 blades before they even existed!

http://www.theonion.com/articles/fuck-everything-were-doing-five-blades,11056/

Ever-Ready "Army Kit"

The Hun never stood a chance against us! This set is pushing 100 and look at the nice shape it's in! The 1914 is a little more aggressive and unforgiving than the 1912, which is not necessarily a bad thing in the right hands. a very fine tool indeed.